Is Marjorie Taylor Greene A Lizard?
Humor Alert!
A lot of people are saying that Marjorie Taylor Greene has transitioned from semi-human-scumbag to full-on Fascist-Lizard. And since MTG (as she now prefers to be called, copying AOC) is now the Number #1 ranking member of the new Reptilian Majority in America’s House of Representatives, we at Neo-Fascism: A Warning feel journalistically obliged to delve more deeply into the matter.
Certainly, there is mounting evidence that MTG has indeed become more reptilian since her suspiciously swift ascent from Q-Anon-Lunatic to (in the legendary words of Donald Trump) “the face [and] future” of the Reptilian Party.
Members of the fascist-lizard community had mixed reactions to the news. Some thought her new “leather-clad, Nazi-dominatrix image" [see below] made all fascist-lizards look bad, while others thought her reptilian re-incarnation might be helpful in pushing through their radical “Lizard Lives Matter” agenda.
Enquiring minds want to know, so our intrepid Editor Abraham Washington travelled down to MTG swamp-country (Georgia’s 14th Congressional District) to hear directly from her/its devoted followers. (There are no MTG “critics” in Georgia; she/it ate them all.)
“We love Margie,” chanted a trio of MAGA-hatted women outside the Confederate Rebels Bowling Alley. “I don’t care if she’s a lizard or a gizzard,” said Tammy-Janie, “our Margie stands for God, guns, and mashed potatoes.” Asked about MTG’s new machine-gun-toting, leather-clad, Nazi-dominatrix attire, the three women shrugged their shoulders. “If it helps kill Satan-worshipping Democrats,” said Bobby-Sue-Tammy, “then she’s got my vote.”
We also attempted to visit the Lizard Sanctuary (in the basement of Ron DeSanctimonious’s office) but were told the Florida Governor was feeding “elite liberals” to his pet lizards and could not be disturbed while doing “the people’s work.”
Up north at the elite Harvard School of Reptilian Science, Dr. Vladimir Lenin-Trotsky-Stalin explained that it was very normal and natural for Republican politicians to transition into Reptilian Lizards. He also praised MTG as a feminist-lizard-pioneer, and announced that MTG had been nominated by Putin himself for the Hissing-Viper-of-the-Year Award (2022).
As per our policy of accurate and balanced reporting, we spoke to both FOX and CNN about this story.
At FOX, Tucker Carlson was “unavailable for comment” but we tracked him down at his so-called “woodshed” (also known in some circles as his “murder castle”). A lot of people are saying that Tucker Carlson is in fact a “closet-baby-eater,” and a highly-regarded investigative journalist1 (with knowledgeable sources) has reported that a lot of people are saying that after eating baby-flesh (the probable cause of his constant look of constipated stupidity) Tucker then crushes the baby-bones and turns them into wood-like things. Below is a forensic analysis of his woodshed clearly revealing the baby-bones as wood-like things.
Over at CNN we were invited to observe a “balanced” panel of pro- and anti-lizard commentators. The pro-lizard expert promoted inclusiveness (“We’ve got a congress full of snakes and vipers, why not include a lizard?”) while the anti-lizard panelist felt MTG was free to start a Lizard-Freedom-Caucus “but not at taxpayers’ expense.”
Back in Washington D.C. we tracked down Kevin McCarthy (the so-called “House Leader” of the Reptilian Party) but he was busy trying on a leather dog-collar and leash. His people referred our question (“Who’s in charge here?”) to MTG herself: “Whatever she hisses,” said McCarthy’s spokes-lizard, “that’s the way it is.”
But beyond these anecdotal and somewhat subjective human responses, there is the undeniable photographic evidence. (However, my son the Lawyer says we must include a DISCLAIMER here stating that the authenticity of the photographs posted on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LizardWorld.com, etc. cannot be totally verified or confirmed.) But they sure do look like MTG.
Heretoforthwith then (and to the best of our knowledge and due diligence) we present the actual photographic evidence of MTG’s 3-step transition from (1) Semi-Human (“Look-At-My-Biceps”) Scumbag, to (2) Q-Anon-Queen (“Look-At-My-Insane-Eyes”) Lunatic-in-Chief, to (3) the Reptilian Party’s new (“I Eat Democrats”) Fascist-Lizard-in-Chief:
Donald Trump (best known as the loser of the 2020 presidential election), in his too-long life of pathological lying, turned out to be right about One Thing: MTG has become (as the orange-stained Liar-in-Chief correctly predicted) the “face [and] future of the Reptilian Party.” Now, as the GOP (Gang Of Psychos) prepares to form the new Majority in United States House of Representatives, a Nation watches with bated breath as questions hang like slimy red Georgia moss over Washington:
Will Kevin McCarthy’s dog-collar be too tight? [Yes]
Will Herschel Walker ever learn to speak English? [No]
Will Lindsey Graham ever get the orange stains off his nose and lips? [No]
Will Lyin’ Ted Cruz run for President (and lose) yet again? [Yes]
Will Kari Lake stop hating democracy? And concede? [No. And No]
Will Donald Trump be Ye’s running-mate? [Elon hasn’t decided]
And finally, will MTG go FULL-FASCIST-LIZARD on Washington? [stay tuned]
Oh, the humanity!
“Just Asking Questions About Tucker Carlson’s Murder Castle,” Tal Lavin, Substack: The Sword & the Sandwich.
Yes, a lizard-like creature but lizards are real cool creatures so only like them.
Government of the people, by the people and for the people and not government of the ruling class, by the ruling class and for the ruling class. I would say that Green is more the people and not the ruling class. Liberals today are more aligned with the ruling class, and look down at people like Green. But I bet Green is like many in politics these days... she is looking for some line to a good living connected to her political role.